Thursday, October 30, 2008

devil's night

Devil's Nights

7:25 am

No devils yet, as it is only morning. But feeling devilish all the same. Autumn cravings kicking in. Beer, bacon and sex. Simple selfish pleasures. That's what I'd like to fit into my day. Bad stuff, I'm told. Things that'll kill ya. But today seems as good a day as any to have a little of what kills. But there's no beer or bacon in the fridge. And sex is something that needs to be scheduled these days.

Ah, the joys of growing older. Staying busy. Losing track of days because they pass through our hands so quickly. But I'm not feeling sentimental. Not feeling like going deep. If anything, I'd like to stay on the surface today. Take things as they come. Try to work away this edginess with a day full of distraction. Which shouldn't be hard. S.B.'s off to work for a thirteen hour day. Little Man will be up soon. And already today I've had to clean up a pile of cat poop from the living room. After I stepped in it, of course.

So, here's a special thank you to you, Cabby, our old senile cat, I appreciate the nuggets of thoughtfulness you left for me this morning. Your little GOOD MORNING to Dear Old Dad. Nothing like waking tired, a little edgy, and putting a foot in crap.

But so goes life. Not a big deal. We clean it up. Carry on. Keep on keepin' .. all, there are people waking this morning with much more dangerous and unsettling steps to be taken. Men, women, and children walking through minefields. Patients waking from coma to find their leg's been removed. Mother's exhausted from hours of labor, only to learn that their baby has not survived. And another father loses his job. Another child abducted. And so our big wide world turns. Around and around. On an invisible axis. The earth placed just right. So that life thrives. Our cycle continues.

But still...there are these days. Feeling heavy. On the edge of something. When all I want is a morning of bacon. An afternoon of beer. And a night with S.B. all to myself. So that we can touch and feel, reconnect and disappear in ways that only married couples can. So that for a little while, it is just us. Two bodies made of dust. Breathing and feeling. Our natural cravings kicking in. So that we can love each other once again.

~ K.J.

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